By Cosima Siegling
I wanna thank the men in my life. These words are for you.
Yesterday I was walking home from university. After hours in the library where the outside is still, but my inside is full of thoughts. It was already dark and cold outside. My coat was buttoned up all the way. I walked down a dark alley and I thought – how many times have I been worried walking down a dark street on my own. Too many times. I was scared of every men I saw – in the dark or the daylight. I saw violence, sexual assault, authority, insensitivity in every single one of you. The evil lives within men. That is a belief that many of us hold (no matter the gender).
And truly not all experiences I had with men were great. I have been grabbed, called names, mansplained, felt unsaved and scared around men (and boys) and many more things.
But . . .yesterday this warm feeling in my chest started to rise. The men in my life, that I surround myself with … they are wonderful. Warm. Funny. Sensitive. Loving. Strong. Beautiful.
And I felt this urge to shout it out to the world.
Thank you for loving me. Thank you for supporting me.
Men in my life – it was you that held me so many times. It was you that made me curious.
I cried in your arms. You made me laugh a million times. You told me I am beautiful (even when I didn’t see it). You told me I can do everything I want. You told me I am hot and sexy. You told me I am smart. It was you that opened up my eyes for the beauty of pussies!
It was you that allowed me to feel safe.
To let go. To surrender.
We kissed. We danced. We touched. You opened up your hearts and your bodies to me.
It was you sending me poems, that made me smile. It was you lying with me on bathroom floors when I have to vomit. It was you encouraging me for things I want to do.
It was you making me feel like a princess. It was you I discovered most of my body with. It was you helping to let go of shame around sexuality. It is you that help me with things I have no idea about. It is you that build beds and hang curtains.
It is you that make my polyamorous utopian dream come true.
All this and so many more things!
It is you that make me feel special in many different ways. Every day.
Of course, it is not just men that do all those things in my life.
It is me and it is all the other gendered amazing humans!
But I am deeply grateful to have beautiful men in my life. You make my life better.
Thank you. I love you.
Cosima studies philosophy. On her blog cusilife.de she writes about sexuality, self-love and polyamory. Open, loving, wild and courageous, she tries to inspire and touch other people.